dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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