a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
