Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
