Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
