You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
