so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize