I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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