i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize