If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
