I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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