this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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