Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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