I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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