Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
