Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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