I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
