the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
