How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
