the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Houston, we have a blender
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
