I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize