some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
