wat bout pragnant strippers??
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize