My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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