I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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