oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
