i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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