margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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