Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize