There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
