OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
