she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
