Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
