Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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