My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
