You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
