check it out our google latitudes are spooning
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
