your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
