I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
