I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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