So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
