roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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