you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You took a bar mat shot.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
