There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
