Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
