Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
