Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
How naked do you want me to be?
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