i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
