Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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