ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
