so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize