i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
