i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
