Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
