Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
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