i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
