Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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