so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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