those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The ass gains better be worth it
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