is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize