Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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