At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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