She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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