His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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