Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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