its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize