oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
