these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
